Two Years
by Laura Dugan
Summary: She thought of things now in capitals and chunks of two.”
1. Default Chapter

Title: Two Years 

Author: Laura Dugan 

Feedback / E-Mail: Please, at AliasGirl@hotmail.com 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it: the show, the characters, nothing. 

Category: Sydney/Vaughn romance, angsty 

Summary: "She thought of things now in capitals and chunks of two." 

Rating: G 

Notes: The song is My Immortal by Evanescence. It was featured in Daredevil, which starred Jen Garner, but really fits in well with the whole Syd/Vaughn thing. I'm sure there are general season II and III spoilers in here, so be prepared. Oh, and the whole April 17 thing gets explained in part II, which will be coming shortly! 

-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

Part I: 

Two years. April 17. Two years to the day. 

Sydney Bristow sat on the floor in front of her fireplace, knees pulled in tight to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs. She couldn't make the cold go away. 

_I'm so tired of being here _

_suppressed by all of my childish fears _

_and if you have to leave _

_I wish that you would just leave _

_because your presence still lingers here _

_and it won't leave me alone _

Two years. Such milestones. Two years she lost her entire memory. No recollection of what she did, who she'd known, what she'd seen. And although she now _knew_ what she did, she still didn't _remember_. She felt as though someone handed her the script to her life story after she'd finished starring in it. A sense of absence, of doubt, of did I really do that? 

Reality she knew. The reality of losing her best friend. Her best friends. Francie, Will. For Will was lost to her now. Jonah the carpenter. No more late night Boggle games, too much wine, and kisses that never should have happened. Kisses meant to fill the void made by him. Vaughn. 

_these wounds won't seem to heal _

_this pain is just too real _

_there's just too much that time cannot erase_

The ache was still too raw. The passing of time had not helped. Being near him had not helped. Neither had being away from him. She'd tried it all. Even tried dating a few times. She just could not erase him from her brain. From her heart. Not after everything he had done for her, Before. 

That's how she referred to it: Before. Capitalized. An entity unto itself. She thought of things now in capitals and chunks of two. Two years she was gone. Now for two years she had returned. Two months after her return before she adjusted to the sight of Vaughn with another woman. Two months after that, Christmas, and tears over lost picture frames. 

_when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears _

_when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears _

_and I've held your hand through all of these years _

_but you still have all of me _

Tears began to fall now, two years plus two years after she was taken away. The conversation she'd had with her father that afternoon had been stilted. A brief conversation, her father holding her tight for a brief moment. She couldn't blame him, he was trying so hard to make her happy. But she wanted to be alone, to work to forget, the irony of the situation not escaping her. For so long all she had wanted was to remember. But without him in her life, she wanted to forget. To forget how he made her feel, like she was important. That she mattered. That she was a person, a woman. Not a spy, not an agent, double agent, someone under the control of outside forces. Forcing her to fulfill their goals. Forcing herself to fulfill her own goals. Destroy SD-6. Destroy Arvin Sloane, the Alliance, the Covenant. Find her mother. Find the truth. 

All she really wanted more than anything, _anything_, was to be his wife. 

_you used to captivate me _

_by your resonating light _

_but now I'm bound by the life you left behind _

_your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams _

_your voice it chased away all the sanity in me _

He listened to her. Received her. Set her free. There were no false pretenses, false names. Just the warmth of his hands on her skin. His touch she would never forget. The gentleness. From the first time he held her to the first time they made love. Love. She never had the chance to tell him that she loved him. Still loves him. 

_these wounds won't seem to heal _

_this pain is just too real _

_there's just too much that time cannot erase _

Losing Danny had been hard. Nearly unbearable, but she had recovered. In part because of Vaughn. She couldn't understand why she couldn't get over losing Vaughn. And she hadn't really lost him. He was still alive. And there were times when she thought he still loved her. A glance her way, a touch that lingered longer than it had to. And all of the times they were undercover. She didn't have to act the part of loving wife. And it didn't seem too difficult for him to be loving husband, either. But maybe he was just imagining she was Lauren. Or maybe he was better undercover than she thought. She couldn't believe that. His eyes were captivating, drawing her in. She still saw truth there. He wouldn't lie. Couldn't lie to her. 

_when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears _

_when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears _

_and I've held your hand through all of these years _

_but you still have all of me _

He tried, at first, when her father had asked him to stay away, but that just made things worse. The tension was intolerable for all those involved. So he had talked to her, told her he didn't want to cause her any pain. So she lied to him. She was always better at lying than he was. She told him she was fine, always fine, and they reached a tenuous peace. She didn't know that he had never believed her and loved her all the more for it. After everything she had been through she was trying to appease him of his guilt, set him free, returning the favor he had given her Before. 

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone _

_and though you're still with me _

_I've been alone all along_

Staring in to the fire, she realized that she would trade it all in – bringing down the Covenant, leaving the CIA, making a new life for herself – if the phone would only ring. Joey's Pizza? But she knew that wasn't going to happen. She was sure that Vaughn had forgot. That he was at home with Lauren, with his wife, talking about whatever married people talked about. She was surprised to learn that he left the CIA shortly after she did. He was back to teaching French and dabbling in cryptography for the NSA on the side. Surprised even more to learn that Lauren was pregnant. Then she miscarried and left. Returned to her family's home on the East Coast. Then she came back. 

She may no longer be a spy, but some old tricks were hard to forget. About a year ago she had decided it really was time to move on. She did her best to push Michael Vaughn and Lauren Reed out of her mind. She succeeded for a while. She began to teach English at UCLA. She took up kung fu, and then began instructing. She found her old ways harder to escape than she had imagined. She started to teach psychology, upper level, exploring the way the mind worked. She shared as much as she could without giving too many details. Her students loved her. 

And then she had seen him. She was out on a date with a fellow professor when she saw him, alone, sitting at a table. He had looked amazing and she had thought for a moment that she might faint. Her date, a nice man in whom she had absolutely no romantic interest, had become worried, making her sit and drink a glass of water. He had asked if she was okay. She couldn't respond. She just stared. And then he had noticed her and stared back. Her date watched the exchange with interest and quickly escorted Sydney out of the restaurant. 

She did her best to field his questions, explaining that Vaughn was someone she had worked with when she was with the State Department. Her mind was reeling. She hadn't seen him in six months. Two months plus two months plus two months. She found herself muttering in Russian, her date perplexed. "Are you sure you're okay?" he had asked. She turned to him, numb. "Truth takes time," was her response. After that he had taken her home. He never asked her out again. 

The encounter had proven to Sydney that she was not over Vaughn and never would be. She dove back into her work and once again, tried to forget. 

A log crackled and broke apart, drawing Sydney out of her reverie when she realized she had heard something other than the fireplace. Someone was knocking.


	2. Two Years Part II

Title: Two Years 

Author: Laura Dugan 

Feedback / E-Mail: Please, at AliasGirl@hotmail.com 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it: the show, the characters, nothing. 

Category: Sydney/Vaughn romance, angsty 

Summary: "She thought of things now in capitals and chunks of two." 

Rating: PG 

Notes: All of my Alias stories can be found on my website: .

Part II: 

Slowly she stood, a small shiver of fear making its way through her body. She stared at the door. Heard knocking again. She shook her head, realizing there was nothing to be afraid of. The bad people were gone. Well, at least most of them. 

Then another thought crossed her mind. Maybe it was him. Maybe he had remembered. She made her way over to the door and pulled it open, her smile fading slightly then growing to cover her disappointment. 

"Don't worry," he said. "I know who you were hoping would be knocking on your door." 

She let him in, her smile genuine. "I'm very happy to see you, Eric." He returned the smile and walked to her kitchen table where he set down some boxes: one large and two small. 

"What's all this?" 

"Birthday presents," he responded with a gleam in his eye. "Open this first," he said as he pointed to the large box. "But be careful and lift from the bottom." 

Sydney looked at him, perplexed, then opened the box. A medium-sized object was inside wrapped in tissue paper. She gently lifted it out and removed the paper, finding a glass bowl complete with neon colored gravel and a happy looking goldfish. 

"Oh, Eric! This is great!" She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, then crouched down to look closer at the fish. "He's cute!" 

"Well… I figured you were all alone over here so I thought you could use a pet. And not knowing your allergies I figured a fish was a safe." 

"It's perfect, really. Thank you," she responded, realizing how lucky she was to have such a great friend. 

"You might want to open this, too," he said handing her one of the smaller packages. Fish food. 

"Can I feed him?" Eric laughed. She sounded just like a little kid. 

"Sure, he's due for a feeding. And he has quite the appetite." 

"Good to know." She dropped a few flakes into the tank and watched as he gobbled them up quickly. 

"What are you going to call him?" 

"How about Weiss?" 

Eric grimaced. "I don't know if I should be honored or appalled." 

"Definitely honored." A giggle. 

"Weiss it is, then." 

Sydney reached out and placed her hand on his forearm. "Eric. Thank you. I needed this tonight." 

"Don't thank me yet. There's more." 

"You really shouldn't have…" 

"I didn't," he interrupted. "That other package came for you in the mail with strict instructions not to give it to you until today." 

  
Sydney's heart began to skip and she smiled. He did remember! Eric recognized the look on her face and grew serious. "I don't think it's what you're expecting." 

Sydney's brow furrowed in confusion. "Who's it from?" 

"Open it and you'll see." 

Sydney slowly turned the package over in her hands, looking from it to Eric. He shrugged and she peeled the tape of both ends, sliding out a small wooden box. She ran her fingers over the carving in the wood, her initials etched in a curly script. She lifted the lid of the box and pulled out a locket. It was about an inch and a half by an inch, the same script on the front of the locket as was on the box. She popped the locket open and a recording started to play. Sydney couldn't believe what she was hearing. 

"Happy birthday, Sydney. I'm sorry that I haven't been in contact in so long, but I have had many things to take care of. Please don't feel like I've forgotten you. You're all I've been thinking about for the last four years." 

_Two plus two_, Sydney thought. 

"I once told you that truth takes time. Well, it's been time enough. It's time for me to tell you something I should have told you long ago." A pause. Indefinite to Sydney's ears. "I did not kill Michael Vaughn's father." 

Sydney's breath caught in her chest and she stared wide-eyed at Eric. 

"I know you have no reason to believe me, but I am telling the truth. I have nothing to gain from this. I know that we are far beyond the point of me trying to win your love. But for your sake, and for Vaughn's, I had to let you know." 

Sydney collapsed into a dining room chair, tears streaking her face. 

"I was framed by an enemy who felt I was growing too powerful in the KGB. He wanted the CIA after me in hopes that they would capture me. It kept his hands from getting too dirty. The problem was, after all of these years, I didn't know who had framed me. I didn't until a few months ago. It was Sloane, Sydney. He killed Vaughn's father." 

"No!" Sydney croaked. He did _not_ destroy yet another part of her life. Of Vaughn's life. 

"I hope that you know I am telling the truth." Another pause. "I miss you, sweetheart. We'll see each other again soon. I love you." 

The recording stopped and Sydney stared, dumbfounded, at the image in the locket. She was about six in the picture; Sydney figured it was taken a couple of months before her mother disappeared. Her mother stood to her right and her father to her left and they all looked so happy. What she wouldn't give to be six years old again. Sydney closed the locket and began pacing. After a few laps, she stopped and opened the locket again. There was no message. 

"She must have had it programmed to only play once," she said sadly. 

"Do you believe her?" Eric asked softly. 

"I don't know. She's right, though. She really doesn't have anything to gain by telling me this. But why now? Why did she wait?" 

"I've never understood your mother. Honestly, I'm afraid of her." Sydney offered a half-hearted smile. "She seems to be a lesson in contradictions. I really think that she does love you. And sometimes I think she really loved your father. She did look for you after… you disappeared. But she always seemed to be playing mind games. Her motives are beyond my reasoning." 

"Mine, too, and I'm her daughter." Sydney sighed heavily and Eric put an arm around her shoulder. 

"I'm sorry. If I'd known… I mean I knew it was from your mother, but if I'd known what was inside…" 

"You knew it was from my mother?!" 

"Yeah. She sent a letter with the box, asking me to wait until your birthday." 

"When did you get the package?" Sydney asked, her pacing growing furious. 

"A couple of days ago. Look…" 

"And you waited? You did what she told you?" 

"Syd. I took advantage of the time to take it in to work. I had them scan it – make sure it wasn't anything dangerous. I didn't find out what the contents were, but the last thing I wanted was for you to get something that would hurt you. And I couldn't verify it was from your mother. I don't know her handwriting." 

"Well it's certainly her voice," she said, calming down. She continued to pace the dining room, trying to put everything together. Sloane had killed Vaughn's father. She always thought her mother and Sloane had a special relationship, that they were allies. Not only would her mother not gain anything by telling Sydney the truth, she would get herself on Sloane's bad side. Even though he was in CIA custody, Sydney was sure he could still find a way to hurt Irina Derevko. So her mother could have been telling her the truth. 

Sydney stopped pacing and looked Eric in the eye. "Why couldn't I have a normal family? A normal life? But no, I have a father who doesn't sell airplane parts, but who was a double agent for the CIA. My mother was a KGB operative and black ops mastermind. I lost my fiancé, my best friend, two years of my life, and the man that I love. What happened to Mom, Dad, 2.5 kids, a dog named Spot, and the house with the picket fence?" 

"It's called The Disney Channel. You should watch it some time." Sydney sat down on her couch and propped her legs on her coffee table. She stared at the locket. Eric sat down next to her. 

"Do you think Marshall can recover the message?" 

"Probably." 

"Well, that's something." 

"Come on, Syd," Eric said, patting her leg. "There are still a few more surprises in store for you this evening." He glanced at his watch and sat up alarmed. "And if we don't get moving soon we're going to be late." 

Sydney was staring at the picture in the locket again and only caught the end of what Eric said. "What? Late for what?" 

Eric smiled. "I said I still have a few more surprises for you for your birthday. Now get moving." 

"Thanks, but I really don't feel like going any where tonight. Not after this." 

"Believe me, Syd, you're going to like what's planned. Go get dressed. And do something with your hair, it's a mess." 

Sydney smacked him playfully on the arm. "What am I getting dressed for?" 

"I can't tell you that. Just put on something nice. A dress." 

She looked at him quizzically, but she knew she wasn't going to get anything else out of him. Her curiosity piqued, she stood and walked slowly to the bedroom. Looking back over her shoulder she said, "This better be worth it." 

As she entered her bedroom, Eric muttered, "Oh, it will be." Then he smiled. 


	3. Two Years Part III

Title: Two Years (3/3)

Author: Laura Dugan

Feedback / E-Mail: Please, at AliasGirl@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it: the show, the characters, nothing.

Category:  Sydney/Vaughn romance, angsty

Summary: "She thought of things now in capitals and chunks of two."

Rating: G

Notes: This takes place previous to the episode on 1/11, so you can ignore everything that happened then.

Part III:

Sydney emerged fifteen minutes later in a subdued floral print dress that hung perfectly on her, the top half of her hair pulled into a ponytail, with locks in the front tucked behind her ears, framing her face.  The locket lay perfectly in the V of the dress.

"You look great, Syd."

"Thanks.  So where are we going?"

"You know, you're really not a very good spy."

Sydney giggled.  "I'm out of practice."

"Let's get out of here."  Eric reached out and took her hand, half dragging her out the door and into his car.

"So we're driving somewhere," she began.  "Are we going near or far?"

"Do you really think I'm going to answer any of your questions?  Just sit back and enjoy the ride."  Sydney, for all of her spying talents, failed to notice another small package on the back seat.

-~-~-~-~-

Eric drove for about 45 minutes up the coast.  Sydney grew more suspicious with each passing mile.  She had figured he was taking her out for dinner or drinks, but this was starting to seem more and more like a romantic getaway.  She loved Eric, he was now her best friend, but that's as far as it went.  And she thought he felt the same way.  

He pulled into the drive for a charming old villa that was converted into a bed and breakfast.  It overlooked the ocean, and as Eric pulled around back Sydney was awed by the sight of the setting sun.  She wasn't sure if he had planned it this way, but Eric Weiss' timing was impeccable.

"This is beautiful."  Eric said nothing and smiled a secret smile.  "What on earth do you have in store for me?"

"I promise you'll love it."

He parked and the both got out of the car, Eric grabbing the gift from the back as he got out.  They started to walk to the entrance of the villa, when Eric stopped.  He handed Sydney the gift.

"Take this, but you can't open it until you get inside."

Sydney looked at him like he was crazy.  "Weiss, what's going on?"  All business now.

"Trust me, Syd.  Have fun."  He gave her a quick hug and lightly pushed her toward the entrance.

"You're not coming in?"

"I really don't think you'd want me to."  He waved and headed back toward his car.

"Wait!  You're leaving me here?"

"Syd.  Do you trust me?"

"With my life."  No hesitation.

"Then get your ass inside and open the gift."

Still puzzled, Sydney nodded and went inside.  When she reached the lobby she stopped and stared at the gift in her hand.  She turned it over a few times like she had with her mother's gift.  Letting out a deep breath, she opened it.  Taking the wrapping paper off, she found a normal looking box.  She shook it and heard something metallic rattling.  _Please – no more jewelry with hidden messages_, Sydney though.  Opening the box, Sydney did not find jewelry.  Just a key.  A room key, she suspected, for this villa.

"Can I help you, miss?"

Sydney jumped, startled, as the desk clerk approached her.

"Sorry!" the clerk apologized.  "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay.  I think you can help me."  Sydney handed the man the key.

"Ah.  Miss Bristow?"  Sydney nodded, surprised.  "Third floor, the presidential suite.  Right up these stairs here, then turn left.  It's down the hall on the right.  You'll see the room number."

"Thank you," Sydney said.  "I don't suppose you can tell me if there's someone waiting for me?"

"My lips are sealed."

"I'm not surprised," she said, chagrined.  "Thank you, again."

"Enjoy your stay," the clerk said, and was off.

Sydney began her climb up the stairs feeling as though she should be worried.  It could be anyone upstairs.  Or no one.  Maybe this was another gift from Eric, although it seemed a little too extravagant for his taste.

Her ramblings didn't last long as she took in the atmosphere of the villa.  It was as beautiful indoors as it seemed outdoors, full of cool colors: blues, yellows, greens.  Comforting.  Van Gogh paintings on the walls.  Oak wood, honey colored, in the railings, the stairs, the floors.  Flowers everywhere.  Sydney breathed it all in.  

At the third floor Sydney grew apprehensive.  She slowly made her way down the hallway, stopping in front of room 302.  Two.  There it was again.  She took a deep breath, fit the key in the lock and opened the door.

Sydney felt as if her world was moving in slow motion.  She looked up from the handle on the door, stared, frozen, in disbelief.  Two years.  Two years plus two years and he still took her breath away.  She placed her hand on her heart to make sure she was still living.  Rhythms of two.  This was no dream.

And he turned, also in slow motion.  Drew his gaze from the setting sun to a sight that was to him more beautiful than any other he had ever seen.  She still stood in the doorway, unmoving, eyes awash with emotion, afraid to trust reality.  And then he was moving toward her, closing the door, taking her hand.  Warmth.  She remembered the warmth.

"I don't understand," she finally muttered, eyes filling with tears, without explanation.  She was happy.  A genuine happiness that she hadn't felt in a long time.  And yet this couldn't be real.  He couldn't be here, shouldn't be here.  He had a wife, had a home, had a life without her.  He had succeeded where she had not.  He had been able to live without her.  

Her confusion grew.  He moved closer.  She didn't understand.  His hands rested on her hips, his nearness dizzying.  She struggled to breath.  Then gently, softly, he kissed her and the warmth grew, enveloped her.  Two years plus two years had not lessened her feelings for him, had not enabled her to forget how much she loved his kisses.  Loved him.

"Vaughn…" she said, pulling back.

"You're so beautiful," he muttered and she was reminded of the first time he said that to her.  How she'd blushed.  But now, now it was all wrong.  He was no longer hers.

"Vaughn," she said again, but he silenced her with another kiss.  She allowed herself to give in to the moment, wrapping her arms around him, feeling his embrace tighten.  "We shouldn't be doing this," Sydney said, breathless.

"I have so much to tell you," he said as they sat on the couch.  "I haven't seen you since… that night at the restaurant.  There was so much I wanted to say to you then but I just couldn't do it.  Everything was falling apart.  But now, seeing you, it's all coming back together.

"What are you talking about?"

"You heard about Lauren and the miscarriage."

"Yes.  Eric told me.  I'm so sorry, that must have been terrible."  Sydney didn't know what she was feeling.  Everything was so conflicted.  Why was he here?  Where was Lauren?

"It definitely wasn't easy.  That was the beginning of the end.  It happened about a year ago, then Lauren went away, back to her family home and stayed there for three months.  I barely saw here.  Then she came back, but everything had changed.  We just weren't close any more.  I don't know exactly what happened…  Then I saw you in the restaurant, what was that, about six months ago?"  Sydney nodded, concentrating on his words, trying to quell her emotions.  

"Lauren was there that night.  It was the first night we had been out in a long time, and there you were.  She saw us… see each other," he said, struggling for the words.  "Later that night we had a long talk.  She told me that in that moment in the restaurant she realized that I was still in love with you and that I would always be in love with you."  Tears stung Sydney's eyes and she looked down, noticing for the first time the empty space on his left ring finger.  Her eyes darted up to meet his.

Vaughn took both of Sydney's hands into his and looked deep into her eyes.  "It's over, Syd.  Lauren filed for divorce the next week.  It's been official for five months now."

_Five months_, Sydney thought, her heart sinking.  Why had he not come to her sooner?  Sydney flashed back to her mother's message.  Truth takes time.

"I wanted to come to you right after it happened.  To tell you everything, but I made myself wait.  I didn't want our relationship to be like mine was with Lauren.  I didn't want to rebound.  I wanted it to be for real.  So I took some time off, traveled a little, but no matter where I went I couldn't get you out of my mind.  I haven't been able to for the last four years.  Lauren was right, Syd, I still love you.  I will always love you."

Tears formed again in Sydney's eyes and she tried to blink them away, but more and more came.  Vaughn pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her tear stained cheeks.  "I've missed you."

Sydney pulled back, doing her best to wipe away her tears, laughing.  "I'm sorry.  It's been an emotional day."  Vaughn smiled.  "I've missed you, too.  I've missed everything about you.  And I had nearly lost hope that I would ever be with you again.  I tried so hard to forget the way you made me feel, tried to get over the pain of not being with you, but I couldn't.

"And I have so much to tell you, too.  My mother…"  Sydney paused and looked into Vaughn's crystal eyes.  "It can wait until the morning.  It's waited for 30 years, another day won't hurt."  Vaughn looked at her with interest, but didn't press.   "Tonight I just want to be with you.  To be held by you."

They walked over to the bed and lay down, Vaughn wrapping his arms around her, holding her as close as he could.  A few stray tears made their way down Sydney's cheeks.  Never thought she'd be in his arms again.  "I love you."

He smiled.  "Happy birthday, Sydney."

Two years gone. Two years back.  And he had remembered.

The End.


End file.
